Note

This subversive e-mail was circulated inside the Agency following an all-hands memo by Mr. Levitt asking employees 'for suggestions on a new name for our Center'.  If a little electronic 'demon' sitting at the firewall had not caught it, the entire world would be laughing at us !  Why not rename the Department into a Ministry, and make the Secretary a minister ?  Certainly, the management does appreciate creativity, diversity, and whatever you want, but please, please be aware of computer security issues, and of the image we are projecting !  Believe it or not, people all over Europe -- with the possible exception of Sandy and myself -- still believe that the FDA is sooo coool !!

From:    Subversive Elements
Sent:    Tuesday, August 07, 2001 18:09
To:      Agency-Wide
Subject: Thoughts On Names


Hej,

... they appear to be serious -- or is this just a diversion to keep the masses happy ?

Certainly, CFSAN sounds a bit silly and outdated, and it is clear from the Secretary's 
comment ("What’s a ‘sif-san’?"), and from Mr. Levitt's memo ("the new acronym must 
be an improvement") that it is really about a catchy acronym rather than the name.

Now, most of the suggestions made so far are hardly an improvement.

CFER - Center for Food Evaluation and Research is nice, because it parallels CBER & 
CDER, but is it really better ?  What's a 'si-fer', after all ?

Unfortunately, the most fitting descriptions also result in awful acronyms:

CARFS - Center for Advanced Regulatory Food Science

CCERFS - Center for Cutting-Edge Regulatory Food Science

Clearly, in this day and age we have to be more creative, even a bit more daring -- what 
else would you expect from a creative, science-based agency ?!


And here we go:

CFKACFSAN - the Center-Formerly-Known-As-CFSAN

pro: Provides street credibility in a pop cultural environment
con: Sounds, admittedly, absolutely awful: 'sif-ka-sif-san'


CHeF - Center for Health Food

Mixed typesetting looks so high-techy/internety; appeals equally to health-food types and 
gourmets; just imagine a press release beginning with: The FDA's CHeF warned 
yesterday against dangers from irradiated food packaging materials...


CAFE - Center for Advanced Food Evaluation

Really cool; people with so much (life-) style must definitely be concerned about the 
nation's food-supply safety; this would be the ultimate image-upgrade for the Federal 
bureaucracy...


CAFFEIN - Center for Advanced Federal Food Evaluation and Information, or

CAFFEIN - Center for Advanced Federal Food Evaluation and Investigation

A bit less culturally hip than the previous suggestion, takes things more into the truly 
scientific realm...


CFOOD - (pronounced 'si-food’) = the Center for Seafood ... and More

The culmination of linguistic sophistication; this will confuse everybody, first, and then 
leave a lasting impression.  As the FDA's Center of Excellence we shouldn't go for less !

We can do it !


A. Nonymous